Welcome to ‘What’s the Motive?’ Film and TV fan-boy, write-y site thing. As you can tell, I’m rather spiffing with the ol’ English vocabulary.
If you’re reading this then chances are you are, like me, a bit of a nerd.
Either that, or you’re someone who’s strayed hilariously far from the safe haven of the Twitter timeline, or clicked on this link hoping it would lead to some mythical portal of plethoric pornographic imagery. Sadly, I’m never going to be as popular as the former, nor have the body for the latter.
So, before this little spiel gets any stranger, let’s stick with the first scenario and assume that you, dear reader, are, in fact, an obsessive of all things Film and Television.
Well, you’ve come to the right place – or, indeed the wrong place if you like your film criticism free of lazy, painfully unfunny puns and woeful attempts at something that resembles humour. Here, we prefer trips to Middle-Earth over those to the pub with mates. Here, Randy Meeks is the true hero of the Scream franchise. Here, Avatar is just FernGully: The Last Rainforest with Smurfs. Here, we’ve drooled over the craftsmanship of Jason and the Argonauts. Here, the moving picture is religion. Here, the nerd is sacred; heroic; worshipped.
Here, you’ll also find a socially awkward twenty-something with a primary-school-style-quiff trying to tell you which films and TV shows are good, which are bad, and which are just cheap imitations of 13 Going on 30. And if that wasn’t enough for you, I’ll be hitting you with all those nifty little features you’ll never have asked for or ever wanted to read. Like, for instance, how many insults you can make from the following anagram: MICHAEL BAY.
So, if, after reading this, you now want to hurl your computer or smartphone at the wall before dousing it in Holy water, performing an exorcism on it, and then jettisoning it into outer space, I honestly don’t blame you (I probably would too if, you know, it wasn’t my own stuff).
If somehow you don’t, and wish to spend a little time on this here site, then, a word of warning, approach with extreme caution…